Spirit tells me that Life is a story that writes itself.
Today is not separate from yesterday in any real
Sense. Today emerged from yesterday and will
Transform itself into tomorrow as part of a
Continuous progression of situations and events
Designed to serve Life’s purpose.
Which is?
To expand our awareness, both individually and
Collectively
Our awareness of what?
Our awareness of our own awareness.
Spirit tells me that thinking is a game and perhaps He’s right.I somehow need to struggle with ideas and Spirit provides me (bless His soul), with a seemingly endless supply of these.
Sometimes I think I know the what and why of a particular mental challenge He slips into my mind, but, before I can take hold of the how, it slips away, as my inner resources suddenly collapse, as a balloon does, when filled to beyond capacity with hot air.
Spirit smiles at my distress and suggests that I accept that there are games in this world, and beyond, that are beyond me, at least for now, and that I should be able to recognize games that I can’t yet win.
Stop. He spoke of this world and beyond. Now I challenge Him. How can there be a beyond if there is only one world?
“There is and yet there will always be a beyond”.
“As in Buzz Lightyear’s “to infinity and beyond”? (Buzz is a Toy Story character).”
“Yes and no.”
“How?”
“Our world expands to infinity, and expanding awareness is our mode of travel.”
How can I argue with such beautiful logic?
..…………..
When I insist to Spirit that I am what I am and I need
What I need, then He, with a confidence that I very
Much envy, tells me that my more or less loosely
Organized system of thoughts and emotions is a
Conditioned one.
Who conditioned me?
You did, with help, of course.
Why? and for what purpose?
To conform to a static social order that never existed.
Why would I do that?
God only knows, but hopes you will do yourself and
Everyone else the favour of getting to know who and
What you really are.
Spirit tells me to be aware of what is happening around me
As I move through time and space, and as they move
Through me, and to be aware of how I contribute to
Whatever is happening, and I do contribute, He tells me,
To every situation that I am aware of, as well as to
All others.
We are each related to all that is, which also includes
Ourselves. We move or are moved through situations
That provide us with opportunities to respond from
Our unique perspective – a moving perspective.
We are each, at least to some degree, responsible,
Claims Spirit, for the creation, result, and future of
Any situation we are part of, and we are part of
Everything.
This is too much for me. I protest. What if I don’t
Want to play this game?
Opting out is not an option, He tells me. That’s not
In the rules.
Who wrote the rules?
We did.
Who are “we”?
You and I and everyone else.
When?
In the beginning.
The beginning of what?
The game of Life.
When was that?
There was no beginning.
Spirit asks me to make an early New Year Resolution;
To choose to accept what my inner awareness seems to
Insist on what my reluctant and more or less conformist and
Wishy-washy personality fears, for whatever reason or
Reasons, to accept as true, or to face the truth that I
Cannot deny, that everything that anyone says or does
Is designed to present a false image if the essential
Energy of what they say or do does not harmonize with
The strength and frequency of their own essence.
Resolve, He asks me, to listen to the energy, and
He assures me, it can and will become as second
Nature to me, for it was designed for that purpose.
I may be a total failure at keeping this pledge, but
I will if I can and as much as I can. However,
Spirit needs to also pledge to remind me
Whenever I slip up, and it will likely be often.
I would not put any money on my short-term
Success, but I intend it to become a way of life,
Sooner or later – probably more later than sooner.
My Sunday morning thank you to all who follow and visit my seemingly never-ending struggle with Spirit. I have every intention to win the war, if a war it is, even though, as you are my witnesses, my battle score is rather low. The Middle way may be different things to different people, but to me it is wide enough to allow for personal pleasures even while being dedicated to whatever. Spirit may have a vision of a fine line but my emotional and intellectual balance could never walk a fine line. Actually, I don’t even see a line between extremes; I see tendencies and room for wandering off the path, now and then. Is that like falling off the addiction wagon? Perhaps. In the meantime, thank you all, and, I hope you’re on my side.
Love,
Jean
Spirit tells me that everyone creates in a continuous
And unending development of their life. Some may
Call it a lifestyle, but a way of life is the way we
Choose to create our life. We cannot not create
When we eat, He tells me (I have just finished
Eating a delicious meal that I prepared myself, so
It could be sour grapes – Spirit may not be able
To eat).. He repeats Himself, when we eat, we
Are nourishing or abusing our body.
Eating far beyond (I may have overeaten
A little) what is necessary to sustain
And nourish healthy growth.
Addiction to food is still addiction. I
Feel no remorse. My taste buds enjoyed
The food, and approved of my efforts.
My appetite, wherever that resides,
May have been a bit greedy. My body
Does feel a bit too full. This is abuse,
Spirit tells me, and I suppose He’s right,
Again. My digestive system, He tells me
Has been the victim of my obvious lack
Of self-control, and now must work,
Beyond what a small meal
Would have required of it.
Now comes the real guilt trip. He
Suggests that my digestive system
Has now become an unwilling
Participant to disease creation,
Obesity being, in Spirit’s mind,
A created disease process.
I will try to eat less, next time.
Spirit asks me to try to develop
A more simple lifestyle.
What would it look like,
I ask Him.
Simplicity is, He tells me,
But, of course, I already knew,
Different things to different people.
I do, now, live a much more simple
Lifestyle than I would choose to live,
If choosing is all it took. But,
It does seem to require more,
Perhaps a more generous
Spirit teacher?
I tell Spirit that I need pleasure and
Comfort in my life, and, since I am
For now, in a world of matter, then
Why not enjoy it, if I can.
I need pleasure and a certain level
Of comfort. Spirit surprises me
With, So do I.
Spirit asks me, What is a promise made of?
I had never thought of a promise as being
Composed of or built or created of
Anything outside of itself. But,
Intention came to my mind,
Perhaps placed therein by Spirit.
A promise expresses an intention.
An intention to do what?
Spirit answers for me, An
Intention to let me…
To let you what?
Where is the do?
This discussion is getting over my head.
There is no discussion.
Then, what are we doing?
One of us is stalling.
For what?
For time, and there is no time.
Then, what must I do?
To what?.
To satisfy you.
Satisfy yourself.
How?
Now we’re getting somewhere.
Where?
Toward accepting that
I need nothing from you, but
You need me.
For what?
For life, for everything.
There is no urgency, Spirit tells me. There never was
And never will be. Perhaps not for Him, but it stresses
Me to be, or seem to be, a very slow learner of His
Gems of Wisdom. Sometimes I wonder how
I could ever grasp the depth of insight
That seems almost comprehensible
And yet still beyond my understanding.
At times like this I feel compassion
For Spirit, my teacher, whom I greatly
Respect, but do not always show it.
Why? I fear I’ll lose myself in
The immensity of his energy, that is
So totally beyond that of my own.
The compassion I feel for Him comes
When I consider that possibly
He was assigned to teach me,
Perhaps as a Cosmic joke.
Spirit seems to smile at my misplaced
Compassion, if it is misplaced, and
I suddenly feel appreciation and gratitude
Beyond measure, for being blessed with
The opportunity to study at a
Tuition-free and formless academy of
Higher Learning. Then I wonder, as if
To bring myself back to a denser form
Of thought, do formless energies have
Form other than of their own choosing?
Spirit assures me that, just as all matter
Has form and energy, so it is with Him
And all so-called formless energies.
Form, He tells me, is in the eye
Of the beholder, but not as beauty is.
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