Stay Between Doubt and Belief

My Spirit Teacher shares gems of wisdom with me, but

It isn’t always easy for me to tell a gem from a rock.

I’m almost persuaded, a thousand times or more, that

He’s leading me on; setting me up to believe something

Is so because it seems to be so.

And then, as a master trickster might, almost without my

Noticing how, He reveals a fatal flaw in my thinking.

My mind’s comfort zone of smug awareness is suddenly

Shattered; my physical, intellectual, emotional, and even

My  spiritual worlds collapse together into a state that,

As some might say, you could peel me off the floor.

How does He do it? I don’t know, but He does, and yet,

Somehow I always seem to recover, after limping  as

From a field of battle, licking my wounds as an injured

Dog might, into solitude.

And, then, when I almost don’t care to ever believe in

Anything again, I seem to slip back into thinking certain

About something.

And then, once again; surely I would have learned by now,

That Spirit is watching and waiting, and almost luring me

On, fully prepared to set into motion; to launch yet

Another attack on my vulnerability to believe in  absolutes.

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