Stay Between Doubt and Belief

My Spirit Teacher shares gems of wisdom with me, but

It isn’t always easy for me to tell a gem from a rock.

I’m almost persuaded, a thousand times or more, that

He’s leading me on; setting me up to believe something

Is so because it seems to be so.

And then, as a master trickster might, almost without my

Noticing how, He reveals a fatal flaw in my thinking.

My mind’s comfort zone of smug awareness is suddenly

Shattered; my physical, intellectual, emotional, and even

My  spiritual worlds collapse together into a state that,

As some might say, you could peel me off the floor.

How does He do it? I don’t know, but He does, and yet,

Somehow I always seem to recover, after limping  as

From a field of battle, licking my wounds as an injured

Dog might, into solitude.

And, then, when I almost don’t care to ever believe in

Anything again, I seem to slip back into thinking certain

About something.

And then, once again; surely I would have learned by now,

That Spirit is watching and waiting, and almost luring me

On, fully prepared to set into motion; to launch yet

Another attack on my vulnerability to believe in  absolutes.

Existence doesn’t depend on a belief system

 

Spirit tells me that His existence does not depend upon

My temporary belief system, or my seeming illusion that

We are separate in any real way.

 

Belief in an individual ego, He tells me, serves us well,

As long as and to the degree that it does. But,

The reality is, we are as separated from each other as

Individual neighbourhoods are separated from

The city that they are a part of..