The struggle goes on, and on

My Spirit Guru is teaching me

How to live in such a way as to

serve Life while serving myself

and others.

 

 

I feel both blessed and chosen, and yet

I also feel almost certain that

I have gone beyond my potential,

As well as my comfort zone,

And still there is no end in sight.

 

It is of no real consolation to me

When Spirit assures me that

There is no end.

 

Perhaps easy was never promised, but

I had a different idea of what this path

To enlightenment would be to travel.

 

A certain energy vibration impels me on.

It is as if my own energy is becoming

More and more interconnected with

An energy beyond my control.

 

Perhaps the truth is that, even if

I tried, I would not be able to quit, now.

And yet the struggle goes on.

and on.

 

Spirit tells me that struggle is

Necessary but, that’s not why

I do it, for, if the truth were told,

Much of my struggle seems to be

Not to move forward, but rather

To resist doing so.

 

I am not the person I was, when it

All began, and I seem to know that

I am not the person I will become,

And yet, at the same time, I am

And have always  been, and will

Always be me.

 

 

The shattering of a way of life

Spirit guided my hand as I drew the card,

The Tarot card XVI (16) – The Tower.

I could have guessed.

The image visually displays

An explosion. The tower is shattered,

And two people are sent falling into

Whatever hostile environment, below.

This graphic image represents a

Crisis; financial, physical, emotional, whatever.

Everything is gone. How

To go on. For me it was an

Ending of a relationship that,

Perhaps never existed. Could it

Have been an illusion? Anger

At my disclosing that Spirit was

With me and within me. Does he

Really believe me. Or, does he suspect

That I have lost my mind, if

I ever had a mind to lose.

Communing with Spirit? Of course

It was foolish of me to even think

That he might believe. But,

Why the anger, if I am happy

In my illusion, if illusion it is,

And I am. I feel blessed, but,

What a price to pay; rejection by

Someone I love.