We need to wallow in self-pity

Spirit tells me that none of my many (too many to count)

Closed doors of relationships that once seemed destined

To last forever, ever existed to close.

 

How then can I tell illusion from reality?

 

They are one and the same.

 

But, I have cried rivers of tears.

 

Where are they now?

 

I don’t know.

 

They’ve been recycled for others to shed.

 

What purpose did they serve me?

 

You needed to wallow in self-pity to ease the pain of

Losing another illusion.

 

 

 

Closing doors

Who closes the doors that close

On our life and that leave the

Past behind, but in a way that

Doesn’t really let us cope with

Why the doors had to close?

It wasn’t my idea, or was it?

I was totally unaware, or was I,

Of the Price I would be paying,

Perhaps until the end of time,

To follow Spirit. How could I,

How can I explain that

I really had no choice, that

It seemed to be my destiny, and

Though not knowing what the price

Would be, I must have always

Known that, whatever it was,

I would pay. Perhaps not gladly,

But, I would pay.

 

Spirit tells me, gently,

Aware of my pain, that

The doors that seem to be

Closing, were never open,

For me, and that I somehow

Needed to believe that

They were, while knowing

In my soul, that I was just

Pretending, because

I needed to believe,

For whatever reason.